WHERE IN THE USA DID EMPATHY DISAPPEAR TO?????

As a United States citizen, you either love President Trump or you hate him. You are for gun control or not. You think of Muslims as terrorists or as peace loving individuals. You believe all immigrants are free loading people taking money from hard working Americans or you believe they are humans trying to find a better life. The list of thinking one way versus another is endless. When did the world become so black and white?  And more importantly, when did the world become so intolerant and hateful towards those whose beliefs are different from our own.

It saddens me to think of how cruel we as a society have become. This is especially evident in the

American political arena. The Liberals vs. the Conservatives. There are no longer the common decencies of eras gone by. Everyone is vicious. My Facebook feed is full of hatred from one view to the other. The level of disrespect for others astounds me. Whatever your viewpoint, can’t we voice our opinions without such vile comments?

Gun rights. America was created on the backs of men and women owning firearms. Many people feed their families by using a gun. But with the latest school shooting in Parkland FL – the attacks on the children who were affected by this shooting really makes me sick. Adults should be ashamed of themselves for the level of harassment, harsh criticism, and outright name calling for these students who feel we need tougher gun laws. Right or wrong, they are kids. You are an adult. You are not setting a very good example for today’s youth! I’m not sure who has showed more maturity in this debate. Good for the students in exercising their rights to free speech. Isn’t that what makes America great??

Of course then there is the battle over immigration. No one seems to remember that they are in the US because their forefathers were immigrants themselves. Even Native Americans supposedly immigrated from Europe via the Bering Straits. Can any of us really blame others for wanting a better life? I sure can’t. Not every Mexican is a rapist (as my state governor stated) or looking for a free hand out. Not every Muslim is intent on killing Americans. Not every black person I encounter on a street is going to assault me.

Recently there was a big discussion about raising the minimum wage for workers. This debate was also very heated.  Why should a person flipping burgers at McDonald's make the same as a person who went to college and now has student loans to pay as they begin their careers in white collar jobs? I won’t pretend to know the correct answer but I do know this. Many people, for mental or physical reasons, don’t have the ability to be white collar worker – but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be making a livable wage working 40 hours or more a week at a job – whether it’s working at Walmart, cleaning bedpans in a nursing home or serving me my food when I go out to dine. But, as to be expected – there was mudslinging on both sides of this debate. And again, I was amazed at the level of hostility among peers. I say THANK YOU for those who will dump my elderly mother’s bedpan, for the Walmart check out person because I dislike the self –checkout kiosks, and to those who wait on me in the restaurant. I am grateful I don’t have to do what these people do. I went to college and have had ‘white collar jobs’ – and I admit – I can’t think of too many blue collar jobs I want or could do!! THANK GOD there are people who can do those jobs. But that doesn’t make them less of a human. These people deserve to earn a wage that feeds their families as well as I do. I am grateful every day that my husband and I are a two income family. My heart goes out to single parents who might work as a receptionist during the day and waitress at night just to keep food on the table. They scrape by on meager earnings yet work harder than any fat cat on Wall Street.

So how do we get more love, acceptance and happiness into this hostile, cruel world? I believe it’s possible. I look at other countries that have low crime, no immigration issues, no racism confrontations etc and I know it’s possible to have that here in the USA. There have always been and most likely will always be wars between nations, but when the wars are within your own borders, there is a big problem!

When my daughters are fighting, I tell them to ignore each other. You give power to the opponent when you acknowledge their comments by arguing or showing hurt feelings. I keep telling them to own their own feelings. I tell them when someone at school is picking on them, that person can’t make you be unhappy, only you can make yourself unhappy – by taking cruel comments into your heart and mind, and reacting to them. The more you react, the more mean, hurtful things people will say to you. Walk away, disengage, and don’t participate. Don’t give angry, negative people your power! 

As I lay in bed tossing and turning last night, thinking about how cruel our society has become, the above reactions seemed like the only response I can give to all the negative people out there. The pleasantries of an earlier generation seem to have disappeared with those who lived it. The new reality is cruel and unpleasant – downright hostile in many ways. There is no more empathy and tolerance for people. This saddens me. But I don’t want to be sad. I don’t want to be angry when someone has a viewpoint other than my own.  I have always been open minded. I never saw a reason to hate someone because they were a different skin color or practiced a different faith. The thought of that as a legit reason to hate someone astounds me. Why should we hate anyone?  While I am not fond of child abusers- how can I possibly know the life this person has had. If you knew that someone was severely abusing a child, you would want to protect and save that child from the abuser. But what if that child is now a 30 year old man repeating those severe abuses on a child of his own, as was done to him? Now we hate this person, we don’t want to protect and save this man. For him, compassion no longer exists. Maybe rightfully so. I’m not here to debate or judge. I’m just wondering where compassion for others disappeared to.

I have let anger and unhappiness of those around me weigh on my subconscious (enough to keep me awake at night) – thus I have given my power to those I don’t agree with. NO MORE. I am taking my power back. I refuse to get caught up in the battles that surround me – Trump vs. Anti-Trump, Guns vs. No guns etc. 

 We live in a culture that discourages empathy.....Barack Obama

 

I pledge to not engage in any more negative, hurtful and cruel debates with people who just seem to want to act important and better than me if I disagree with them. These people, to me, are just looking for a fight. Some people thrive on being right, being hurtful and living in a half empty glass world. I release them with love. I will do my best to keep my power to myself and not give it to those who only want to fight with me. I can reasonably hear arguments for opposing viewpoints, but I will not get into heated debates and allow anyone to steal my happiness.

For those who seem intent on spreading hatred, I will think loving, positive thought for them. Love is more powerful. If I can bring a bit of love into my neck of the woods, it’s one tiny step towards a more loving world. And if one other reader will do the same, we will spread twice as much love that this world so desperately needs. 

You can’t have a beautiful, harmonious and happy world by arguing with those who have different view points. Arguments just bring more arguments. Being true to yourself, being loving, happy and kind will bring more of the same into this world. That is the only thing worth fighting for!