I admit to being somewhat of a Facebook junkie. I check it daily - sometimes numerous times throughout the day. I love connecting with my family, current network of friends and associates and also my old classmates and childhood friends. Some of the wall postings are funny if not hysterical, some are random and some are very, hmm, pitiful, for lack of a better word. It amazes me what people will post on a very public forum. If you are on FB, you probably know what I am talking about, but these people also exist in our daily, non-internet connected worlds. Mr. or Mrs. Doom and Gloom. For example, there is the star athlete classmate who also happened to be, I believe, in the top ten for academics when we graduated. This 40 something year old man is CONSTANTLY posting updates about his on again, off again relationship, his crappy job at WALMART working terrible hours and for low wages, his barely above poverty living conditions, car troubles, begging friends for sidework to earn extra cash and complaining about having to pay child support. (Mind you, his children happen to be his friends on FB thus having access to his complaints about having to support them!)
I'm dumbfounded. In talking with others on Facebook, they too have FB friends who are constantly posting daily negative updates - nothing but tragedy in their lives. I get it - the more negativity you project, the more you'll attract. We know how this works!
So here is my dilemma. How do we help people like my friend above? I felt badly for this man, someone who was a great friend back in the day and dated briefly years after graduation. I confess I sent him a personal message and suggested he borrow The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes and briefly stated that perhaps all that negative energy he is putting out there might be attracting more negative crap into his life. I tried to make my message lightweight and casual because I knew it would probably sound crazy to a non- believer in the Law of Attraction - but informative and hopefully helpful at the same time. Sure enough, he replied with a pleasant thank you for the message but did not mention that he would take my advice. (rightfully so I suppose in hindsight!)
I know some people just thrive in their 'poor me' existence. These people will never change, nor do they want to. But how do we help those that do want to change? My first experience in trying to help a friend failed. Perhaps if I had instead offered to buy him a cup of coffee then personally handed him a copy of The Secret (the book that changed my life), I would have been more successful in helping my friend.
Years ago, while going thru divorce, I went to a divorce support group. A kind stranger, who went on to become a dear friend, handed me a copy of a book on divorce that she swore by, to help me thru my emotional rollercoaster that comes with getting divorced. I read it, and reread it numerous more times. It became my Bible and I later 'Paid It Forward' by referring it to other people going thru divorce - stockpiling copies so I could hand them out as well. Whether or not anyone else found as much inspiration in that book as I did, I will never know, but I do know how much those people appreciated my generosity at the time -not just for the book, but for understanding and being supportive, just like I had felt many years ago when a kind stranger handed a book to me. The light bulb just clicked on for me.
People don't like being told what we SHOULD do, but we do like feeling understood, supported and appreciated. The next time I feel someone I know is very off track and might benefit from learning about the LOA, I know what I will do. I will hand them a copy of The Secret, acknowledge that they seem to be having a hard time right now and simply say that this book changed my life and I hope it can be of some help to them. Then leave it at that unless they want to learn more.
I was trying to help my above mentioned friend, but it turns out, he taught me something instead - and reminded me of a time long ago when I more clearly understood how best to help my friends. I may not have helped him, but I might be able to help others. Maybe I didn't fail after all!
